Ms. Jam got swag!

I am a teacher but in one way or another, I think I am cool!

A co-worker of mine was thinking of songs to download in her phone and so she asked me to mention one by one the singers I have in my own playlist just so she gets an idea. I was surprised when she, together with another co-worker, started laughing when I mentioned Ja Rule, Nelly, Flo Rida, Pit Bull and LMFA,O and all the other rap and hip hop songs and artists in my playlist.

"Ms. Jam, is it Nelly or Nelly Furtado?" she asked with a smirk.

"Nelly...", I confirmed by playing "Hot in Here".

They couldn't believe their ears and they couldn't stop laughing. I still have a picture in my mind of their reactions - eyes and mouth, wide open!

"Ooooh snap Ms. Jam! I didn't know you listen to those kinds of songs! " the other one commented.

"Why not?!" I asked.

"It's just that we never imagined you listening to that kind of music. I imagine you more singing Kumbaya Kumbaya...," she replied with a laugh.

"And Ja Rule?! Ohhhh you have a Black in you Ms. Jam!"

That was funny. :-) I guess a lot of people just don't know me that well, maybe because I just don't easily open up to everyone. One has to get to know me well to know the real me.

Oh yes, I do party (not a lot though). I dance. I love music. I might seem quiet and simple but I am not that naive. ;-j I am not boring either! I can count with my fingers the times I've been to bars and clubs (and I still sometimes refer to them as discos...how old school!) but the few times I went, I easily did adapt. And I did have fun. In fact, I've always danced the night away, mind you, even in 3-inch stilettos!

I am a preschool teacher...I enjoy being with kids. I don't have much of a social life nor a love life at the moment...But don't underestimate me...coz guess what?!...

Ms. Jam got SWAG...

Yes...only Something We Asians Got!Lol

Now I'm wondering...how do people perceive me?

How do you?

Rest assured you're loved unconditionally...

Disappointment filled me as I sip my free coffee while waiting at the car service center's comfortable waiting area. I had to spend a few hundreds of dollars for our car's break pads, which had to be replaced immediately. And this had to happen at this time, when I am almost broke. Then again, I don't have any choice because it's for our safety.

In my five hours of waiting, I was able to accomplish a lot. I was ready for the long wait so I brought my big bag full of my stuff. Thank God I was able to recover the files from my computer that just crashed, which allowed me to continue working on some stuff that I need to finish, most important of which is my lesson plan for the next school year. Thank God also there was wifi connection and so I was able to do my research. I couldn't help but still think of the money I had to spend for the car, as well as future expenses, while doing my work. I do a lot of multi-tasking so my mind does the same, I guess.

It didn't take me long before I came across this website that has exactly what I was looking for. I was overwhelmed with the great deal of information that I could use for the lessons that I am preparing. So for a while, I forgot about my disappointment. As if I have discovered a gold mine, my eyes were glistening and my lips were smiling as I eagerly pressed the keys of the laptop (which, by the way, I just borrowed from my mom). I easily found just what I needed.

A couple of hours after, I heard my name being called. The guy told me that everything's good with the car and I'm ready to go. Before I turned my laptop off, I checked to bookmark the "gold mine" website that I found. To my surprise, the name of the site was abcjesuslovesme!

I put all my stuff away, stood up and went directly to the cashier window to pay.

I got to the service center full of disappointment, but I left simply with a smile and a thankful heart. He just never fails to amaze me...to surprise me...and to reassure me in ways unimaginable, that He loves me without a limit...every.single.day.

Love, just as the Father has loved us...

Just love unconditionally.

Worrywart...Worry Not!

It always happens. I worry too much about something and the problem is resolved without any effort. I don't do anything but the problem goes away just like that. And up to now, it still amazes me whenever this happens.

As most people know, I am such a worrier. I fret about almost anything. Just last Saturday, I almost didn't want to drive anymore while in the middle of a highway because I was so stressed out that we seemed like to be just driving and driving, not knowing where to go and my sister was already late for her exam. She was like, "stop it! I'm not even worried. Just drive. " That's just me. I hate being late. There are times I'd worry about the littlest things because I want everything to be the way I want them to. I even have a hard time delegating tasks and I'd rather do things myself because people have disappointed me in the past.

Yesterday, I messed up the Internet connection at work and it almost didn't make me sleep. To my surprise, everything was fine in the morning. Just like that. My assistant told me, "Ms.Jam, why do you have to be stressed out? All you gotta do is call a technician from the internet provider company and they don't even charge you for that." Yeah, I know. But still, I couldn't help but worry.

Then again, worrying doesn't do anything... Not a thing! It just stresses me out and consumes all my energy. When will I ever get that? Actually, I know that already. But I don't know why I still get anxious a lot. Well, I'm already trying not to! I can actually say that I worry less now, for real!

Thank goodness Someone up there does not give up on me. He just let's me be. When I worry, He's the only one I run to. I probably make Him feel special when I call Him for help. I am the type who won't burden other people with my own problems. People actually think that I am so strong that I can do anything. Little do they know that this warrior is a child. It just so happened that my Ultimate Saviour can conquer anything and everything. I call to Him for help for everything. I pray for a parking space...for sunshine...for a green light when I am running late. I pray for finances...for strength...for guidance and wisdom...literally for everything, even the impossible things. I always do, because, it's tried and tested...He answers. He does it without delay. When I call for help, there's never a weak signal...no busy tones...no network problems. He's available, 24/7. And when it isn't the proper time yet, He even blesses me with bonus patience for me to make it through the waiting time.  Who could ever beat that!

With a working visa to renew and an expensive lawyer's fee to pay, the fall semester to enroll to, and tons of other plans for the coming months that require finances, (which I don't have much), sure, I have every reason to worry. But I have more reasons not to, simply because I have a very wealthy, not to mention generous Father, who provides whatever I want and whatever I need, all according to His will.

Truly, we all have a bigger God...bigger than anything we try to overcome. So tonight, as I go to sleep...I'll turn over all my worries to Him. He'll be up all night anyway!:-j




"Don't keep worrying about having something to eat or drink. Only people who don't know God are always worrying about such things. Your Father knows what you need. "(LUKE 12:29, 30 CEV)

I’ll Brag This Time

While changing her pull-ups, 3-year old Sofia suddenly exclaimed in her unintelligible speech, “Mish Jam, ich ameyshing!” What’s amazing? I asked. Once again she said, “Ich ameyshing!” then ran back to the classroom. I just smiled and followed her. Maybe it’s just one of those new words that she just heard again. She just loves repeating whatever she hears.

But Sofia’s right. She just described this day for me. It is truly amazing. Everything that happened today is amazing. Most of all, God is. The way He answers my prayers is just unbelievable.

My executive directress has asked me yesterday to meet with her after work today at the other site. For whatever reason, I didn’t know. But I thought to myself, this is it. I am going to submit the letter that I finished writing just the previous day…a letter of request for a pay raise. I have been contemplating for a while now whether I should ask for it or not. I think that I deserve it, and I felt the need to demand for it since they tend to forget things at times. The somehow gutless that I am, I printed out the letter and told myself that I need to do it today. I have been praying for the right time to do it and I was just presented a perfect opportunity to talk to my directress. On my way to work this morning, I actually prayed to God that hopefully, I will be given a salary increase today, (for some reasons I assumed that’s the agenda of the meeting) and if not, I asked God instead to give me the courage to submit my letter, and discuss it with her in a Christ-like way.

Long story short, to my amazement, I was given a pay raise today! It’s not that much, but hey…an increase is an increase. Big or small, I am thankful for blessings! I didn’t have to submit the letter to my directress. I didn’t have to say a word. I didn’t even have to sell myself and prove to her why I deserve a raise. My Father did all the talking. Talk about having the best spokesperson in the entire world!

Why did I write about this? Simply because I want to brag. No, not about my salary (because believe me, it is definitely not a lot). But I just want to brag about how good the Lord has been to me. I just want to share this good news to everyone! He does answer prayers. Fast. Really. He may not answer it at times exactly the way we want things to turn out, but He always gives what’s best for us. We just have to trust Him.

I don’t have material riches that I can brag about. There are still things that I want to have and dreams that are yet to come true. But I have been and continuously blessed, and I know there’s more to come. I feel it. I claim it! And this is all because of my Father who is so good… and I am just deeply proud of Him. Are you?



“Count the little miracles you receive daily, and proclaim it! You may just help change someone’s life.” - Nova Arias (Didache)

Fallin'

It hurts, still.

Especially when there’s no one to catch you when you fall...

When it leaves wounds that you know will take time to heal...

When there’s no one to blame but yourself...

But what’s good with it is that, every fall reminds me that I can always get up afterwards, no matter how bad it may seem. I’ve always been good at it actually...And I do it fast…really fast! No dwelling too much on the pain, not much shedding of tears. I just stand up again and walk forward, without looking back.

Yes, call me stupid but I fell again... got wounded one more time... and no one was there to catch me. As always, I stood up quickly, and just continued walking...as if nothing happened. I didn’t even bother looking back.

It took a while after I became aware of the damage it caused…

My pants, as well as my underpants (warmer), got ripped at the knees. Then I realized, my knee was bleeding too.

Yes...this morning, on my way to work, a block away from our house... for the third time since I got here in NY, I slipped and fell again! This time, on snow and ice. Funny as it may seem, but the three spots where I had fallen were just a couple of steps away from each other. Never learned my lesson huh?!

Is it trying to tell me something?

Should I change the way I walk? Try another route? Buy another pair of shoes?

Or better yet, should I just look for someone who will be there to catch me the next time I fall?

Whatever it is, as always, I still am ready for the next fall...either to get up on my feet again, or to fall so deep, because I am certain, Someone up there is going to catch me, no matter what happens. ;j