It hurts, still.
Especially when there’s no one to catch you when you fall...
When it leaves wounds that you know will take time to heal...
When there’s no one to blame but yourself...
But what’s good with it is that, every fall reminds me that I can always get up afterwards, no matter how bad it may seem. I’ve always been good at it actually...And I do it fast…really fast! No dwelling too much on the pain, not much shedding of tears. I just stand up again and walk forward, without looking back.
Yes, call me stupid but I fell again... got wounded one more time... and no one was there to catch me. As always, I stood up quickly, and just continued walking...as if nothing happened. I didn’t even bother looking back.
It took a while after I became aware of the damage it caused…
My pants, as well as my underpants (warmer), got ripped at the knees. Then I realized, my knee was bleeding too.
Yes...this morning, on my way to work, a block away from our house... for the third time since I got here in NY, I slipped and fell again! This time, on snow and ice. Funny as it may seem, but the three spots where I had fallen were just a couple of steps away from each other. Never learned my lesson huh?!
Is it trying to tell me something?
Should I change the way I walk? Try another route? Buy another pair of shoes?
Or better yet, should I just look for someone who will be there to catch me the next time I fall?
Whatever it is, as always, I still am ready for the next fall...either to get up on my feet again, or to fall so deep, because I am certain, Someone up there is going to catch me, no matter what happens. ;j
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11 comments:
How do you do it, Ms. Jam? Despite the many falls, you remain optimistic.. I admire the way you look at life and its many ups and downs... I especially admire your willingness to fall again despite the hurts... I wish I can be as optimistic as you. Although I have complete faith with the plans of the Lord for me, I can't help but be scared at times...
An inspiring blog! I am looking forward to reading more of your insightful blogs! God bless!
it's all about strong faith and trust in Him..nothing else. :) a blessed new year to you...:)
An Answered Prayer
Indeed, God answers all of our prayers. In my case, the answer came through a complete but very accommodating stranger. I find it even more surprising that His answer came through the internet. I guess, God has also become high-tech..
I was at the lowest point in my life. Having been engaged and near to marriage when a heartbreaking incident happened. Let just day, he ended up marrying someone else. With nowhere to go and no one to confide to, I found myself praying to God for healing. I prayed for Him to take all my pain and hurt away. I wish to forget and erase all the memories, both the painful and the happy ones... For the longest time, I was not able to move on. The thoughts of betrayal kept coming back on my mind and I find myself crying all of the time... Feeling all alone, I tried to search for answers, for signs...
Then, I came across a blog site. With nothing better to do at that time, I told myself reading her writings will help pass the time.. To my surprise, as I read everything that she has written, I cried because somehow I knew that this was God's answer to me. Knowing that there is someone who went through the same experience, yet finding the courage and the faith to move on and look forward to brighter things. And what's even more amusing was she found the time to answer my questions and somehow gave me the inspiration to try to move on.
Though I am not yet completely okay, I am slowly undergoing the process of healing and forgiving. I have Him to thank, but I also have this stranger to thank. She was one of the kindest strangers I met online and made me believe in the innate goodness of people. I know she is busy with her own life, but she never ignored me especially when I ask personal questions. She has the patience to give me her views on certain things that in the end, helped me see the positive things in life and in the future...
My answered prayer is you, Ms. Jam. Thank you. Words will not be enough to express my gratitude. But nevertheless, I thank you. I will continue to include you in my prayers. God bless!
I miss reading your blogs, Ms. Jam! :) Your writings help me get through some of the toughest times in my life.. Wish to read new blogs... (i am not pressuring you to write new blogs though.. hehehe) God bless! and good luck on everything..
it was weird..this morning i suddenly remembered the last comment (sort of blog!) you posted here. :) and i am so sorry that i wasn't able to reply. i just got so preoccupied with work and a lot of other things as well. anyway, thanks for the kind words as always. i am glad to be of help and an inspiration to you. never thought (but i always wished)that this will really happen.;j i really hope i could write again soon.i am just so busy right now. take care and Godbless!
I have a personal thing to ask, ms. jam! I hope you don't mind. It has been months and I still think about what happened between me and the man that i was supposed to marry. It has been a struggle not to think of the many memories, both the painful and the good ones. The difference now is that even the beautiful memories cause me pain. How did you forget? How did you do it, from him being an important part of your life to someone that just belongs to the past? I apologize if i bother you with these things but i just dont have anyone to talk to, at least not someone who has experienced kind of the same fate. I want to move on, and I have been praying for it, but it really is very difficult. I admire you that you were able to do it. I hope i can do the same. Thanks again. God bless!
as much as i'd like to give u a more concrete answer on how i was able to move on, i just can't think of anything else that i did aside from PRAYING.. my prayers were answered thru people whom God has blessed me with. He sent me people who helped me get through tha pains. honestly, in the beginning, i also didnt know where to start..i couldnt find any reason anymore to work and strive hard in life. i thought, why even work and why even strive to fulfill my dreams when i am just doing it for myself? i felt there was no purpose. i didnt even know that it was possible to build the broken dreams once more. but family and friends - both old and new, came and helped me make it through. just keep praying..it works wonders!ill include u in my prayers. keep the faith! Godbless! ;j
thanks, ms. jam! it was a daily struggle but i have finally come to grips with what happened... i am better now and i think, i have finally let go! although, i am still single, i am better and happier.. probably because i am loving myself more..
will also be praying for you! keep writing pls! you are changing someone's life for the better...
thanks! Godbless!
When does the feeling of hurt and pain of losing someone ends? How did you completely let go? No matter how hard I try, I still feel some love for him. I pretend not to care, but still a part of me is concern with what is going on with him? How did you do it, Ms. Jam? Will it come to a point that you simply will not care about him anymore? Pls. Let me know.. Thanks! It is with you that I find some answers which close friends can't give.. Thanks for the time!
Sorry if my questions seem personal. God bless ms. Jam!
i miss your inspiring stories and blogs, miss jam! :)
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