You Just Never Know When...

When I was young, all I dreamed of was just to finish my studies and eventually work and be of help to my family. I remember I had a couple of ambitions then…to be an accountant (for I thought I was good at Math), to be a flight attendant (because of the opportunity to travel with pay, plus I thought then that I could easily be one just because of my long legs), or be a business woman just like my mom. Being the determined person that I was (and still am), I did try everything just so I wouldn’t have the “what if’s” now. Yes, I did attempt to shift to accountancy after a year of study in Linguistics, but my GWA was just not good enough. And yes, I also applied to transfer to Tourism where I could have actually made it because I reached the grade requirement, if not for the fool that I was, when asked why I wanted to shift, like a beauty pageant contestant who didn’t do her homework, I answered – “because I wanted to be a flight stewardess”. Arrgghh! What was I thinking then?! Oh well, I guess I was not just meant to be an FA after all.

And so I stayed in Linguistics not knowing where I’m actually heading to. People used to tell me then that whatever course I finish, I could after all find a job because I’m from UP. I held on to that hope and true enough, just 2 months after I graduated, I got a somehow-high-paying-but-not-so-fulfilling job. I really didn’t know then what I wanted to do in life so what the heck?! I was paid anyway, good enough to support my family. I did stay in that job for 3 long years just because I had to, not because I really wanted to.

I guess the saying that “people have no contentment” holds true for me. All I wanted once upon a time was to work. Then when I had it, I wanted more.

Not long after, I felt I was called to teach. I had this feeling that I’d find the fulfillment I was longing for in the noble profession of teaching. Though somehow, there was this thought at the back of my mind that I was not satisfied yet of just finishing college. I wanted to be exactly somebody, not just like any other college graduate or an ordinary company employee. I wanted to have a definite profession and have this definite niche for I felt that I didn’t specifically belong anywhere. I can’t be called yet a Linguist for just finishing an undergraduate degree in Linguistics. So I aimed at becoming an educator for it was something close to my heart and could definitely give me the title and the license that I wanted to have.

Now I have a license and I have been teaching for almost 4 years already. More to that, I have my tutorial business now which Bobby and I mange. So you think I have stopped aspiring? Not yet! I think I want more. It’s not that I’m still not contented. I am! I’m thankful that I’m blessed with a good life and the best people around me. Right now, I just want to be a better person, and make better use of the wisdom, talent, determination and passion that God has blessed me with.

I’m not going to stop teaching, or do something apart from teaching. I may say that this is something that I’d do for as long as I can. I just want to do more for the kids, for my family and for myself.

I am currently into special education for a lot of reasons. I did it primarily because I want to go abroad soon in the hope of earning more for my family and for my future. We already have a life way better than before, but I want to at least be of big help in paying up for all the family expenses (house, etc.) before I even settle down. Yes, marriage will transpire somewhere in between my many plans in life. It has been talked about (at least by bobby and me) but if it’s not yet God’s time, we’ll just wait.

Going back, I still have plans of studying further in the US when I am financially able (no matter how far-fetched this could be). Everything that happened in the past makes sense now – why I finished Linguistics, why I got so into SPED – because all these are essential to what I would like to believe would be the last course I’ll be taking up – Speech and Language Pathology (master’s and maybe, eventually, Ph.D.?). Why SLP and why in the US? My answer would be… why not?!

Then after this, (yes there’s more!) I have hopes of putting up my own school (for regular and special children) here in my own country. That would be my ultimate goal. As of now, I have set my goals in life up to this part only. Who knows what would happen next? When would I say I have done enough? Only God knows. One thing’s for sure, that I would never stop dreaming unless I stopped believing. That, I just never know when.