A poem for a doctor wannabe

If you need a cure, I’ll be slow but sure

I’ll certainly try, not to make you cry

Truly this job, entails compassion and love.

For doctors are used by God to extend one’s life.

I may give you tablets, which may have side effects.

But I won’t prescribe, if it’s insignificant

For what’s in my mind is for you to be fine.

And your safety is always prioritized.

A doctor is what I want to turn out to be

And I’ll do what I can to bring out the best in me

It may still take me a decade or two

But who cares, if it would mean helping you?

(This is a poem which I was able to compose one rainy evening, when my mind was functioning...Sorry...i just have to cherish it, once in a blue moon lang e..hehe don't even know if it really makes sense. )

The school year that was...

Everything was a shock – the make-up, not to mention the red lipstick, the numerous essays, the Dale Carnegie sessions, etc. Eleven months ago, I was wondering if I can make it at OBMCI. There were days when I was already on the verge of quitting, but God helped me pull through. I was able to survive the rigorous Part I training, but I know it was just the start.

True enough, it was. It was just a sneak preview of what we would in fact experience inside the school with the students, with our colleagues and even with our superiors. However, I came to realize that what we have undergone during the summer training truly prepared us for this school year. It may not be enough, for we still have two more trainings to complete, but the first part of the training was indeed of great help. Albeit the difficulties I had and the great adjustments I had to deal with, I was glad of all the transformations in me. Those were all for the better.

I was made to obey. It’s not that I was disobedient before, but I was not just used to the things that we are being asked of, most importantly the make-up. Honestly, it was all against my will in the beginning of our training and there was something inside me that refused to follow. I was part of the corporate world for three long years where I have worked as a sales staff but I was never compelled to wear any make-up. There are lots of other requirements also, which at first I thought I would not be able to accomplish, but to my surprise, I did. I don’t find myself now whining and complaining too much as what I usually do before. I may have faltered a couple of times, but as what Montessori said, error is a friend. I took all those as learning experiences and try to do better each day.

“Patience is a virtue…” a phrase I would always say without really understanding its deeper meaning and without consistently living up to its real meaning...until I started teaching. Being an educator requires a great amount of patience for it is what will aid you in dealing with the children. I learned that no amount of shouting or anger would normalize the children. I used to complain how rowdy my students were and I was a couple of times on the brink of giving up in terms of disciplining them. Then I realized, I just have to extend my patience more for it is of good worth. With this patience, I found out that the pleasures of teaching little kids, their company, their interaction, their spontaneity, their innocence, is like fresh air in the suffocating environment that one finds oneself in, these days. Beyond doubt, my patience greatly improved and I feel more equipped now for the next school year.

You can never put a good man down. I believe in this for I myself proved this to be true with what I have experienced during the last few weeks before the school year ends. I became a subject of fabricated lies and I don’t even know where it all came from. Whoever could have done that to me, intentionally or unintentionally, I guess he or she just wants to put me down. Yes, I was inoperative for a couple of days until I realized that I should not allow myself to be defeated just that. I am just a human being and so, I was of course affected. But I soon realized I have nothing to be ashamed of, because my conscience is clear, I am doing nothing wrong and I am hurting no one. Therefore, I should not suffer at all. It’s not that I’m singing my own praises, but I am just proud of myself for I have discovered that I am strong enough to face problems I never imagined I would ever encounter in my entire life.

Indeed, everyday here in school is a new challenge. The work may be tiring and exhausting, but I have developed love for my work already. Perhaps I am really destined for teaching. The lessons learned I mentioned above are only among all the other countless lessons I would forever keep in mind, for these did not only make me a better teacher, but a better person as a whole.

How I Manage My Time (Workload)

With the bulk of work that I have right now, I can’t help but wonder sometimes how I am able to manage my time. I’ve been doing a lot of things since I started teaching here and I just feel blessed to be able to contend with all the pressures that go together with this profession. How? I am not so sure, but I truly believe that the only way to function well and be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. :) This is what I am doing right now. If one would just look at it, teaching is indeed tiring and energy consuming. Actually, I don’t get much time now for leisure even during weekends. My time is usually spent doing school paperworks and other requirements. Work actually takes much of my time, but honestly, it doesn’t really feel work that much because the happiness and fulfillment actually outshine the physical fatigue. :)

(My Alitaptap Entry # 14
October 3, 2005)

Simple joys of teaching...

He is indeed changing... and it’s for the better. Soon after talking to Patrick, he copied the notes in Language that day and for the very first time, he finished his work in the classroom. The other teachers, who actually didn’t know what happened earlier that day, also reported to me, as his adviser, the sudden change in Patrick. They were actually surprised and also very happy, as I recounted to them what transpired and what caused him to change. I am so happy with what’s happening but, I am not also disregarding the possibility of Patrick going back to his old ways after a day or two. There were also doubts from other teachers that the change is just for a short period of time and I was forewarned not to really set high hopes because I might be disheartened if that happens. I am very much aware that one cannot just change in one snap of a finger, or in just a blink of an eye. Nevertheless, I am thinking positively and I’m also praying that Patrick is really sincere in his desire to change.

Patrick is not the only student in my class who needs close supervision. In fact, as one of my co-workers jokingly remarked... I am so lucky to have in my class a lot of problem students. :) All the same, I am still thankful and happy because I know that these are just challenges God has prepared for me, which actually mold me to be stronger and better. As I see it, these are just spices in my life, and I am ready to play against them. :)

I will continue to follow-up on Patrick, but as for now, I have other students who also need my “motherly” supervision and love. :)

Proud and Blessed..

It brought me into bliss... to seventh heaven. It was such a wonderful feeling. I was right, I would gain so much fulfillment in this new-found career.

When I saw Patrick crying, I was moved. I nearly hugged him. He used to be the brave but ill-behaved student of mine. He disobeys a lot of school rules and brings a lot of headaches to his teachers. But this time, I saw the other side of Patrick...his better side. It was the first time ever I saw him cry. Most of his classmates were all blabbing on how Patrick misbehaves in school. Patrick is like this... he’s like that... he did this and that, etc...etc. He was deeply hurt because of that. I know somehow how it feels to be blamed by everyone and to be looked at as someone who only brings mischief. I talked to him, this time in a different tone, in a different character. It was like a mother talking to a son, heart to heart. He could now look into my eyes as I explain to him, to the best of my ability, why everything is happening. That moment, he was not the Patrick who would make face and who would reason out when being corrected. He listened to every word I said and I felt that he realized his mistakes. He promised to change and do better this time.

Later on, during the mass, he did listen to the sermon of the priest, which was unusual for him. He said he could really relate to what the priest has just said. The priest talked about how we could associate ourselves to a pencil and that there are actually five lessons which we can learn from it. To put it simply, below are the lessons he mentioned:

1. A pencil leaves a mark. Just like human beings, whatever we do, good or bad, it will leave a mark.
2. The pencil has an eraser for you to rub out something which has already been written, just like us, we can still erase the unpleasant things we had done in the past.
3. A pencil, without the lead, will not serve its purpose, so what’s more important is what’s inside.
4. A pencil needs to be sharpened from time to time. In life, we will also experience being sharpened once in a while.
5. To function well, we people, just like pencils, must allow those who have a hold over us to be in command of us and control us.

Patrick is indeed one of the many pencils the priest was talking about. And I hope, as his teacher and his second mother in school, he would allow me, not actually to manipulate or control him, but to influence him to be the best person he could be.

As I went back to the faculty room, there was a smile on my face and an overwhelming feeling in my heart. Words cannot really explain the fulfillment I have been experiencing at work. I feel so proud, able and blessed to be given the chance to work with wonderful people just like my students. Yes, they give me headaches and loads of work, but, a cliché it may sound, it doesn’t seem work anymore because I like what I’m doing.